Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
