how do flat chested girls get laid?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
