I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
