I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize