your parents love me but you hate me
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
