I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize