god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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