hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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