Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
