you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
