We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
