i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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