Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
