we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
