Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we're making bets on your personal life
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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