I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
