my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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