i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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