You're completely useless in the revolution.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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