it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
