just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
