guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You dont lie about slip and slides
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
