dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
