Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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