drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
