When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Sext me about skeletons
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
