I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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