Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
