You can't special order awesome
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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