Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
