If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
