i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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