Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
