WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
