five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize