absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
