Can i not drive my cunt home
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
