it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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