Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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