I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
