i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
