What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just want to make out with him forever
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
