Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
