my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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