If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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