she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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