I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He passed out mid-signature
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
