he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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