I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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