she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
