people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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