all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I intend to get homeless drunk
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
