We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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