And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
These tits shall not be calmed
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
