ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
