My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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