Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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