yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
