yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
