Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
