You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
