"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize