Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
