You really coming over, don't trick.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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